When parents talk about their kids, we hear them talk about what good students they are, how well they play a sport, and yep– how talented they are. Less frequently, we hear about what good people they are, what a big heart they have or how generous and honest they are.
It’s time for a major cultural and perhaps conversational shift. We all (I hope) would agree that at the end of the day we value people who are kind, honest and respectful. We don’t say things like “I really like_____because he went to the best college” or I want to be her friend because she is so talented.” Instead, we value those who are kind and emotionally generous with us. We value people who are honest with us. No one likes lying. It is inherently hurtful and disrespectful. The implication is that we are naive enough to be lied to. We love when others acknowledge our efforts. Think of how a simple smile, a thank you or even a genuine compliment can make someone’s day.
My suggestion is that you take a good look at what you focus on when you talk about your kids. If you are not talking about the goodness of their hearts and souls than you may want to re-think things.