Listen, it’s oh so very tempting to judge political wives who seem to stand by their straying partners after sex scandals. Right now, I’m thinking about Huma Abedin, the beautiful and accomplished young wife of Anthony Weiner and the mother of his young son. I have heard women everywhere weigh in on this. And, I must say that the majority of women whom I have spoken to suggest that Huma pack her bags immediately and divorce her husband just as quickly…
As a clinical psychologist who has been working with human vulnerability and anguish for over 20 years, I have some advice for all the advice givers. Tuck it in, cool your jets and slow down before judging. We don’t really know what binds this couple together and what their breaking point will be. The worst advice that you can give any woman is to leave her husband before she is ready to. No one leaves their partner until they are fed up and maybe even completely disgusted. We don’t know if Huma Abedin is disgusted yet. Maybe we think that if we were in her shoes we’d tell Mr. Weiner to kiss off but guess what we are not in her heels,flats or stilettos.
I say keep your eyes as the story unfolds and keep your opinions to yourselves. This woman appears capable and accomplished. Let’s see what she figures out on her own. My guess is that she will ultimately make an excellent decision. At least-that is my hope.
There are some messages for our teen daughters here:
1. Everyone gets involved in tricky aspects of relationships. No one is immune.
2. There are no easy answers to relationship problems.
3. Sometimes we just need to wait for answers to unfold over time.
4. It is important to watch other relationships. You may take your cues from others. You may choose not to.
5. Be careful not to judge other relationships. You never know what your relationship situation will be like.