I always tell you that I talk to teens almost every day. Well, I also talk to parents almost every day. And, I’ve noticed a pattern that I would like to talk to you about. I would also like you to weigh in on this.
You see, I see both teens who are bullies and teens who are bullied. I see “popular” kids and their mothers. Some of these popular teens are thoughtful and upbeat kids but others are exclusive and therefore qualify as bullies.
This is what I have observed in many instances:
1. Teens who bully often have moms who have bullying tendencies.
2. These bullying tendencies include being exclusionary and gossiping about other teens and their parents. In many cases, some of these mothers are exclusive, leave others out and talk negatively about others out loud and sometimes in a quieter manner. Nonetheless, their judgmental style is not lost on their teens.
3. These mothers model that it is acceptable to behave in whatever manner necessary in order to have friends. This may include not being inclusive and being cliquey.
Listen, I am very much against BLAMING THE MOTHER. In this case, though, I have to tell you what I have observed over the past two decades. I’ll get to the fathers in an article coming soon. I am very much aware of the importance of the role of the father.
I do need the feedback of parents everywhere because I am prone to “confirmation bias.” Confirmation bias refers to the tendency to look for information that confirms your beliefs. Let me know what you think, please!