First Date Conversation Starters

First dates are fraught with anxiety. I mean, for goodness sake, what is more difficult than the combination of wanting to make a good impression and not being sure what to talk about? And, there we sit with fork in hand and marbles in our mouth as we struggle to come up with food for talk.

As always, I’m concerned and I’m here to help. I have some tried and true ideas about how to get the conversation started. Please bear with me as I weigh in. I would, as always, love to hear from the dating men and women out there about additional conversation tips. So, let’s get this conversation started. And, let’s hope that we can get some dialogue going…

1. Always ask your date questions about themselves–not too heavy–but do it because everyone loves to talk about themselves. Secondly, it shows that you have an interest in the other person and who can resist a person who is interested in them?

2. Keep it light–ask about interests, where they went to school, music they like. Don’t stir up intense topics such as past relationships. That is not first date material. You and your date need to focus on each other. There is no need to bring exes to the date; figuratively speaking.

3. Smile and laugh. These are our best fashion accessories that break the ice and lead to social comfort. And, mood is contagious; good mood and levity lead to increased comfort lead to easier conversation.

4. See if you can find commonalities–music you both like, TV shows you like to watch, etc. People are attracted to those who are similar to them. The idea that opposites attract is not helpful nor is it necessarily accurate.


5. Talk about the venue at hand. Have you been to this restaurant before? part of the city before? and give your date time to answer. Listening will get you to wonderful places.

Good luck. I hope you have or had a good time. Keep in mind that it takes more than one night to assess a potential partner but you need to get started somewhere!