Grandparents are in a unique position. They have observed their children as teens and later watch these same kids become parents of teens. My how times have changed, they tell me.
When my child was a teen, grandparents often say:
1. He never would have spoken to me with that level of emotion.
2. She never would have been so direct with me.
3. I never would have tolerated that level of defiance.
4. She would have gotten a good old-fashioned spanking for speaking like that.
5. Why doesn’t her husband take her side? My husband always backed me up.
6. Why is my son giving his daughter so many choices? I always told him what the plans were.
According to the grandparents that I speak to, things have certainly changed since their children were teens. They tell me that their children tend to be too permissive with their teens and seem to be so fearful of disappointing them. In fact, they also tell me that their children seem so frightened about letting their kids experience disappointment.
These grandparents are reluctant to give their adult children too much input. They, too, don’t want to upset their children.
I would very much like to know what the community thinks. Are we parenting teens differently these days? I would love to hear from parents and grandparents!